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How do you find ‘the one’ when you spend your time online complaining about the ones who aren’t?

“I just paid the bill and walked out of the restaurant,” Dafna Diamant confessed to about 9 million strangers on TikTok. Diamant ditched her Hinge date because he refused to pay $3 extra for cheese on his burger. Her comments debated whether or not this is an actual dating deal-breaker, with some people wondering if she was being “for real,” while others failed to understand why she left a guy who “seems really nice” and was “not a catfish” over a $3 slice of cheese.

Turns out Diamant, of New York City, wasn’t being “for real” because this date never actually happened. At least, not to her. Diamant overheard this conversation while on a promising date of her own. So why did she feel the need to spill the tea on what she assumed was a dating disaster for someone else, instead of talking about the good date she was actually on? Diamant didn’t exactly reinvent the wheel here, as TikTok is flooded with hundreds of thousands of videos similar to this one, with the hashtag “DatingTok” garnering 589.8 million views, as of writing this article.

Are you dating for love or views?

Why do people feel the need to share the most intimate and cringeworthy details of their dating lives with strangers on social media? And how does posting about your dating life affect your own chances of finding a genuine connection?

“I think it’s an outlet for some people and a place where they can release whatever emotions they may be feeling about their bad dates or previous relationships,” said Jacqueline Fae, a relationship expert and the CEO and founder of IDL Match Club, an exclusive personal matchmaker site based in South Florida. “By posting online, they are able to get that negativity out of their system while also finding people that may relate to their situation.”

This is true for Mystkue Woods, of Philadelphia, who started spilling about her bad dates and even her “sexy time” experiences on live Instagram posts. Woods said she enjoys being able to help others who might be struggling through similar experiences. She found sharing her dating journey helped her stay away from the wrong situations and understand why she tends to attract people who are “emotionally unavailable or have chaos surrounding them,” which she cited as a reason she’s been single for the past six years.


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